The Eyesore of Evil Demonic Doooom
by Mai4eternity
Summary: Don't click that link. Yeah, I'm talking to you. No, I'm not using reverse psychology. Don't click that. Seriously. You'll regret it. It's Hurt/Comfort and Tragedy for a reason. The pain your eyes will be in will be a tragedy. I'd better not get any hits.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.

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**Author's note: This will be sort of a compilation of pieces all directly related in the perspectives of several characters and both third and first person. I'll explain why in a later chapter.**

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**Chapter 1**

**Toph's mental journal**

_I once cared._

_To me, he was the most amazing person in the entire world. But that was before I knew about his true nature; before he broke my heart._

_I was once strong. Mighty. Almost godlike, even, with my disregard for all things most people seem to care about. I wasn't like them. My blindness seemed to give me a place in the world; it made me who I am. But what does that matter. The first moment I felt Sokka of the water tribe I was doomed. His charm and beauty drew me to him. I thought I was in love. But it was the sort of love that doesn't exist; the kind that all girls feel for handsome men._

_I was dead wrong when I thought I loved him. Sokka, of all people in the world! Sokka, the one who awed me from the beginning. Sokka, the one who brought down my untarnished heart. Sokka, the one who tore my will from me. Sokka, the one who could never feel the way I did._

_I didn't think I would end up like this. I thought I was my own person. But when it came right down to it I was no different from every other girl. What a fool I was to make the mistake of liking him._

_A man like Sokka cannot love. He has charm. Looks. Strength. What else could he want? The girls fall all over him. He has an endless supply of admirers. One broken heart means nothing to him. There are plenty of imperceptive girls to satisfy his lust. Yue. Suki. Myself. Who else would fall victim to his evil habits?_

_Sokka._

_His name brings certain words to my mind._

_Arrogant. Loud. Rude. Inconsiderate. Self-centered. Suspicious. Uncaring. Immature._

_Amazing._

_Awe-inspiring._

_Wonderful._

_I was drawn to him. I was broken by him. I was cast out, alone, in the vast world because of him. Or so I thought._

_As much I want to believe otherwise, it was not completely his fault. It was I who was drawn into his lifeless charms. It was my fault my heart was broken. It was by my folly I was alone._

_But the worst mistake I made was convincing myself what I felt was love. I could not be more deluded._

_I had never known what love was. I had never begun to dream there was something beyond what I felt._

_I followed him. I hung around the man just to get a glimpse of his muscular form, even though I couldn't see. I spent hours trying to get him to even glance in my direction. And the time I spent watching him train! The way he sliced through the air with his sword enthralled me. It was absolutely beautiful watching his graceful, yet powerful, movements. This was how I let a year of my life go to waste._

_By the time I realized the mistake I was making it was too late. I had been attached far longer than the average teenage girl. Curse my firm, unrelenting nature. It refused to believe I was experiencing anything but love._

_Now because of my errors I am alone, with no one to hold._

_No one to love._

_No one who cares._

_I, Toph Bei Fong, had a heart of stone. A heart sliced through with a blade of the blackest steel, forged from the rock of the heavens above._

_Nothing can change that._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Avatar: The Last Airbender, Azula would have blown Katara up with her beast skills.

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**A/N:** I know I'm really making Sokka out of character, but this is junk written at 2 am, so bear with. Also, I hate Zutara. And Kataang. And Jetara. Well pretty much I hate every Katara pairing in the world, so here, she's single.

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**Chapter 2**

"Be tough like a rock, Twinkletoes!" the blind earthbender shouted as she stomped on the ground, lifting large columns of stone. "Use the vibrations!" Her pupil nodded at this familiar advice. Aang certainly was a quick learner; he was always eager to acquire a new skill. After all, he was the Avatar. But why did she feel like he was more than a student; more than a friend? _Don't think like that,_ Toph reprimanded herself. _You are the greatest earthbender in the world. You don't need anything. Aang is like a... brother! Yeah, let's go with that.  
_

The war had ended, but Toph still liked to boss her student around. Something about having power gave her sweet, sweet joy. Maybe it was the pleasure of not being underestimated; or perhaps it was because of the way people looked at her; but either way, she loved it. Yet there was something missing. Despite having everything she ever wanted, Toph was incomplete.

The Blind Bandit remembered what she had told Zuko long ago:_ "_My parents gave me everything I asked for, but they never gave me the one thing I really wanted: their love." That could never be more true. Everyone in their small group had paired off. That is, everyone except Katara, Aang, and herself_; _so she was alone.

_Aang and Toph. Toph and Aang. Taang. Oh what am I thinking? Taang is about as messed up as Zutara. It would take an idiot like Sokka to think we'd do well together._

_Darn these hormones.  
_

"Well, it's nice having a club for lonely people," Katara remarked as she observed the training session from the sidelines. "At least we don't mope around all day like Zuko." This was followed by an annoyed "I heard that!" from the high-strung, obsessive prince mentioned.

"SUGAR QUEEN CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY TRAINING AANG?" Toph shouted. "CAN'T YOU GUYS SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE? IT'S TOO NOISY TO EARTHBEND WITH YOU TALKING ALL THE TIME!"

Sokka walked up next to his sister. "You really shouldn't be talking, Tophy," he declared with a smirk.

"I AM NOT TOPHY. YOU CALL ME MELON LORD OR ELSE I CRUSH YOU WITH BIG ROCK." The last thing she needed was _another_ stupid assertion from that jerk. Wasn't it enough that nobody, not even her parents, cared about her?

_Oh, great; you're sounding like Sugar Queen. This isn't good. I agree. Toph, are you having a conversation in your head again? You have got to see a psychologist about this. _

"Alright, Tophy," Sokka retorted_, _turning away with smug look.

It wasn't even three seconds before the warrior's face met the ground.

**32 1/2 seconds later...**

"Dih anywuh no-iss dat Aan'sh beh rearry quieh layely?"

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**A/N: **Hmm... Maybe I didn't totally mess up Sokka...

Ok, I know this was really stupid, but since I was too lazy to write anything with a plot, I hope this made you laugh even a little. A real chapter will be up soon. Maybe. If I can get my lazy butt off the couch to do some actual work.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The calm sea breeze flowed by ever so gently. Toph could hear it; she could feel it; she could taste it; but she saw not. The sensations of the wind meant nothing to the blind girl. They did not incite visions of lapping waves or rushing blue water; they were the qualities of darkness.

The young earthbender reclined on the damp sand of the Ember Island beach, picking her toes. The water was daunting. Stripped of her sight, the vast expanse of the ocean was but a world of cold nothingness. She stretched out her battered limbs. Her fingertips grazed the surface of the earth. That was enough to catch a glimpse of her surroundings. To her right rested Mai and Zuko. They, as usual, were doing absolutely nothing, being the bored teenagers they were.

Toph turned her attention to the emptiness of the water beyond her toes and witnessed a horrifying sight: Sokka and Suki were engaged in a seemingly aimless tickle fight that ultimately ended with the two non-benders in each others' arms. The observer winced at the reminder of her past crush.

Just as she recovered from the shock, Toph was startled at finding that Sokka had vanished from her field of sight. In fact, the whole area he had occupied had disappeared, only to return moments later, followed by a disgruntled warrior muttering something about magic water. She chuckled as realization dawned upon her.

"It's not funny!" Sokka spat irritably. "First Toph crushes me with a rock; then Katara makes this huge wave come crashing down on my head! I suppose now Ty Lee's going to punch me into oblivion."

"Don't jinx yourself, Snoozles!" laughed the girl responsible for the boulder.

"I'm not jinxing my- oof!"

Ty Lee wiped off her hands.

"I told you not to jinx yourself," said Toph.

"IF I COULD MOVE MY LIMBS RIGHT NOW, I WOULD TOTALLY STORM OFF. But seeing as I can't, Suki! Pull me!" Sokka's girlfriend kindly obliged to this request.

Suddenly, Toph formed a platform of sand and fled.

"What's with her?" wondered a confused Aang, who, with Katara, had just climbed ashore.

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_A small girl laughed at a young boy's feeble attempts at earthbending. He would try over and over to make the unyielding rock move upon his will, but it would never obey him. His body was covered in cuts and bruises caused by minor accidents. She hopped down from the boulder she was sitting on, brushing the dust off her green tunic. They were training in the deserted emptiness of the earth rumble stadium after the girl's first victory in the darkness of night. Not that It made a difference to the two. They could feel their surroundings, though on different levels. However, with no one present, the space echoed eerily, causing both to shiver._

Planting her feet firmly into the earth, she knocked her companion's feet into a proper stance. The girl turned to demonstrate the move again while her student clumsily attempted to imitate her. Unlike his short, compact teacher he was tall and unstable and so his efforts were fruitless. Collapsing after the girl landed a single blow, he fell to the floor, dejected. Thus the girl shouted a string of loud profanities. The boy got up and tried the move again, though his attempt was futile. His friend chuckled.  


Toph recalled this rare happy moment of her childhood, a single tear sliding down her porcelain cheek as she sat on a ledge over the water. She had never had a real friend, but Kazu was almost one. It was complicated.

****

_Months later they met again, this time when he had secured a position as a delivery boy to a local merchant. He was responsible for sending an order of silk to the Bei Fong estate. As he passed the garden he spied a face resembling that of the famous Blind Bandit. At first he could not bring himself to identify the owner of those distinct features. Then realization hit him – literally, via a blow to his stomach. _

_"I thought it might be you," said Toph. "What are _you _doing here, Kazoo?"_

_"My name's 'Kazu,' Ma'am," he quickly corrected. "I, uh, kind of have a job and yeah, I'm supposed to give this to someone here." He abruptly handed her the package he was responsible for._

_"Okay Kazoo," the heiress said, punching him. "Well you should go now."_

_"Yeah, I should. Bye, Toph!" With that, Kazu scrambled off as Toph rearranged her hair for the fiftieth time that day._

The earthbender remembered all this with perfect clarity. She never saw Kazu again, as she had left to join Aang and his friends merely days after. Her greatest regret in life was probably that she never got to say goodbye to him, her first friend-type-sort-of-thing. _Well, I can't dwell on the past. I know I'll never see him again. Ever. Just got to get over it. Yeah._

One tear fell into the water below.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm shooting for two thousand words this chapter… now watch me epically fail. Man, I love making fun of my own names. **

**I've been playing with points of view for the last few chapters, and I think I like first person. I'm not going to stick to it, though! Goofing around is way too fun.**

**Disclaimer: I'm sure you've seen the standard disclaimer, and those involving characters... so I'll have my pet fish do it. **

**Fish XXVI, take it away. **

***silence***

**Alright, any minute now...**

***silence***

**We are experiencing technical difficulties right now. Please stand by.  
**

**Chapter 4**

_Toph Bei Fong, as dictated to Makato of the Fire Nation_

As much as I wish life were perfect, it isn't. Our vacation lasted only a week because Sparky, aka Zuko, had to go off and do some high-and-mighty Firelord stuff, or so I'm told. It was kind of overrated, but it didn't concern me, so I didn't complain. He had Mai, after all.

Aang, being the Avatar, decided to roam the world and ride every animal known to man. Little Miss Sugar Queen just had to go with him to make sure he "picked up after himself" and "didn't make stupid choices." That pretty much left me and Sokka when the devil left. By which I mean Suki. Have you ever seen her headdress-hat thing? Well I haven't either but that's not the point (to be honest, it feels like pointy horns sticking out of her head). Well, somebody had to locate the Earth King after he left with his stinky bear. It's not like Haru was going to do it, so that left only Snoozles and myself.

Since neither the Earth King nor Bosco could have gotten very far in the three months since we had last seen them, Sokka thought it would be best to search the Earth Kingdom first. He was the one with the map so it was probably best to listen to him. It crossed my mind that I should visit my parents, but I quickly dismissed the thought.

Traveling on foot was painfully slow. I would rather just ride a humongous pile of earth all the way across but somebody had to spoil all the fun because he was afraid of little things like a broken neck or a crushed leg. Well, at least finding Kuei wouldn't be so hard. After all, he was probably the only person in the whole Earth Kingdom with glasses (whatever those are) and a bear. So I didn't think it'd take long at all.

Turns out, the Earth Kingdom is a lot bigger than I believed, especially when I don't have a freaking earth wave to ride. We were originally heading for the great walled city of Ba Sing Se but then the oh-so-great schedule master decided to begin in the southern cities, namely Gaoling and Omashu.

Three assassination attempts and four butt-kickings later (the assassins got beat up, not me, and the last one might have been inflicted upon a certain sarcastic meat lover), we miraculously made it to Gaoling. Or at least where it was supposed to be.

"There's nothing here, Sokka," I said as we entered the battered gates of a town nearly burned to the ground.

"I know; I've checked the map at least a dozen times and it says this is where Gaoling is," Sokka replied, confused. "I'm holding the map right, and I'm sure of our location, so where is the place?"

I shrugged. It felt like the same place; but somehow, it was different. We then carefully made our way through the rubble. I was careful not to trip over anything. My attempts were futile, however; I managed to slip on a thin board that was so rotten it was a blurry mass in my senses. Getting up, I ran my fingers over it and felt grooves carved into it. I handed it to Sokka in the hopes that he would know what it was.

After examining it for a few moments the great Sokka, amateur detective, reached a conclusion. "This," he said, "appears to be a sign of some sort."

"And…?" I questioned when he didn't continue.

"WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU TOPHY? CAN'T YOU READ?" Sokka exploded.

"First of all, I'm blind," I said defensively. "Second, I'm blind. Also, I'm Melon Lord. Don't ever call me Tophy!"

Sokka ignored my last comment and brushed a strand of hair out of his face. After making a huge show of inspecting the sign at all possible (and some impossible) angles, he put the board down. "I've got it!" he exclaimed. "This thing says something!"

I scowled. "But what does it say?" I asked. Sokka shrugged and admitted he didn't know because he'd actually never gone to school.

Well, this was just great. Not only did we have no idea where we were going, we were utterly and completely lost. I tossed a few pebbles in exasperation. They hit poor ol' Sokka in the noggin, which led to a disgruntled "ouch." That might not have been the smartest thing to do, because right then he started going loopy like he was on cactus juice or something and I had to drag him all the way to the nearest village, which was easier said than done. Because I obviously couldn't read, I had to blindly find my way to one without a map.

(Tutu, stop laughing! If you don't knock it off, I'll knock you off… the edge of a cliff.)

After who-knows-how-long, I eventually found this tiny little village. Actually, it wasn't even a village; it was just a cluster of minuscule huts plopped down in the middle of nowhere. There, I managed to get some water to throw on little wannabe-me from the tiny stream to go with the tiny thatch houses in the tiny village in the tiny region of the not-tiny Earth Kingdom (Toga, even you're not that stupid to miss that).

Anyway, some farmer in the tiny field by the tiny stream by the tiny houses in the… well you get the point, offered to feed Sokka and me. I wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to get free food so I accepted his invitation. The farmer, whose name was Jedd (not Jedi, Tom-Tom, although I wish he were a Jedi master with a light saber, whatever that is), told me all about the area as we ate. Turns out, the area used to be Gaoling, but soon after I left, the Fire Nation had taken over. The city was burned down during Sozin's Comet; not by Ozai and his fleet of airships, but by the soldiers occupying the area. Nearly everyone there died on that day, but some had not; my parents were among those who managed to escape; likely with a near-army of bodyguards. As Jedd finished his story, I let out a small sigh of relief. Mother and Father were still alive. That's all I needed to know.

It was right then that Sokka decided to come to. He so happened to be situated directly beneath the low table, so when he sat up, he bumped his head on it and fainted again. I dragged the stupid boy out from where he was lying, thanked Jedd, and set out into the vast country.

Sokka awoke some time later. Together we made our way to the Great Walled City.

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When we finally got to Ba Sing Se after weeks of travel I was bored like Inferno. I eventually ditched Snoozles in the marketplace. I didn't think he'd notice that I wasn't around when he was being a "diplomat" and "doing his job." As if. I mean, anyone can sit around asking questions. Real men look for things themselves, and then when they can't find them, they yell at the women.

Anyway, there I was in the Lower Ring searching for people to cheat, still bored to Inferno (Turns out, the Fire Nation invented some pretty strong curse words that I managed to coax out of Sifu Hotman). I came to this little stand in a secluded corner on the edge of the city. The man running the game looked at me with a wary eye, but he offered to play anyway. It was a game of chance, supposedly, but I could feel that the dice were weighted. That would be no problem at all.

Apparently after a few rounds the man realized who I was and called the Dai Li, who had recently been reinstated despite their betrayal. I put up a big fight but was greatly outnumbered, so somehow I ended up in jail.

After sitting in a dank cell for what seemed like hours, the padded door slid open to reveal a tall Dai Li agent, or at least what seemed to be one. If it weren't for the stupidly squishy walls and floor they'd covered with some confounded new substance they call "rubber," I would have been able to tell exactly who he was, but as the conditions were, he was but a large blob in my diminished senses. The man slowly made his way into the room and stopped at my feet.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"I know who you are," a rough masculine voice answered.

"Doesn't everyone?" I stamped my feet. Who was this mysterious person? I was, and still am, Toph Bei Fong, the greatest earthbender in the world and personal friend of the Avatar. Everybody should know of me.

The man spoke again. "What I mean is I know all of you. I know you are Miss Bei Fong, the daughter of the wealthy family of the Flying Boar; I know you are Toph, the little blind girl who learned from badger moles; I know you are the Blind Bandit, the notoriously fearless earthbender who swept the competition away at Earth Rumble Six; and I know you are the Melon Lord, my best friend."

Yeah, this guy was a total creeper. I was never friends with any of the Dai Li. He didn't sound like any of the guys in the Gaang, and this definitely wasn't Kazoo. At least not the Kazoo I knew. Hey, that rhymes! Kazoo… knew… I'm totally off topic…

Anyway, it was like someone hit me with a ton of bricks when I finally realized who he was. "KAZOO!" I screamed, making sure to put extra emphasis on the mispronunciation. "OMA OMA OMA OMA OMA OMA IT'S YOU!" I then totally jumped on top of him. (Teepee, that's "Oh my Agni." And before you say anything, I don't really care if your name is My-tutu or Mama-toga or Mock-a-teepee or whatever it is.)

"Of course it's me! What are you, blind?" a breathless Kazoo exclaimed. I responded by waving my hand in front of my face. He slapped himself.

"Hey, do you remember that one time…"

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After much reminiscing, we had exhausted our usually boundless store of energy and sat with our backs to the padded "rubber" wall of the cell. For some reason, Kazu hadn't let me out, and I realized with a jolt he hadn't explained why he was in the Dai Li. I leaned over to where he was serenely reclining with his awkwardly long legs outstretched in front of him and punched my friend in the shoulder. "Kazoo," I began, "when I left, what happened?"

I felt him flinch. His heart suddenly raced and his breathing became more strained. This was probably a sensitive subject for him. Anxiety turned to terror. Emotions were flying through at a breakneck pace. It seemed like an eternity had passed before he spoke.

"Your Awesomeness," he said, his voice strained, "you don't want to know."

"I do, Kazoo, I really do," I insisted, trying to sound sweet and comforting (Tippy, don't tell me that's a surprise, because I think it worked).

"Before I tell you anything, you have to promise to think of me as Kazu, your friend, and nothing else," he said. I nodded. "Alright, here goes…"

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**Come on, Fish XXVI**, **say the disclaimer!**

***silence***

**Please?**

***silence***

**For me?**

***silence***

**Aww come on!**

***silence*  
**

**I GIVE UP.  
**


	5. A note from the editor

_A note from the editor:_ due to the inadequacy of the various writers who took part in this serialized documentary, the series will be postponed indefinitely. The first to hold the position of writer was named Sha-un, who was prone to exaggeration. The second was an unknown man from the Northern Water Tribe. He failed to describe situations accurately, often inserting his own details in order to appeal to the general audience. The third and most recent writer named Makato, while being more accurate in writing the exact word of Lady Bei Fong, failed in retaining professionalism and brevity as well as documenting reactions, which could have been crucial for clarification. All three writers have been discharged.

- Evirna, editor of Avatar Weekly

A/N: Basically, I'm saying I'm not happy with how I wrote this entire story. To improve it some major structural changes would be required, which I don't have time for.


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